Wednesday 18th September;
They're torturing people for food, whoever 'they' is and wherever 'there' is. It's been going on for some time. I've just ignored it, it's sort of an error. I suppose the wisest option would be to up and leave, but I'm not sure where to go or what to do.
I drove around yesterday looking for local churches. There's a church a short walk from the house, and others around the town. Took a few of the phone numbers and made a few calls. The church of Waltham Abbey called me back after a missed call and the Rector agreed to meet me on Friday at nine thirty am. When I asked for an appointment he said 'I'll just get me booke' in the kind of accent an old friend used to use. Old friend was always saying that about whatever novel he might be reading at that point. Long time since we've met. They might be in touch with one another in whatever way I don't know. All I know is that I'd like to inform someone and churches in the locality might be the wisest option. I called a few others and got mainly voicemails. I got the numbers for 'St Mary great Parndon' (nearest church to the house), 'St Thomas More', a modern looking church near to the hospital, 'St Mary at Latton' which had some kind of church community centre nearby, 'St Lukes' (been there with the family for some kind of mass), 'St Andrews' in Stansted Abbots, and St Thomas a Beckett at Narthaw.
Someone answered the phone at St Thomas a Beckett, might have been the vicar I'm not sure. At the outset of beginning to hear voices I spent a bit of time there at the church. It was always empty. I asked to meet and was informed that contacting the local Parish of Harlow, where I've been living for some time would be the correct course of action. I tried but hit only voicemails.
I called a few others today. The rector of St Marys was home. I told them about the appointment with a Waltham Abbey priest on Friday and she told me to let her know how it goes. There's a mass on Sunday at 10 am, it's days away and there are people being tortured for food. But I'd really like to go. Makes sense to me to inform the nearest church. I also called St Thomas more, where the hall hire receptionist gave me the number for 'Lady Fatima'. The two churches are a short drive apart but must operate under a the same governance. I asked if we could meet because I was 'hearing voices' and he asked if I was a catholic. I never made communion or confirmation but I said I sort of was. The guy agreed to meet me at half twelve tomorrow. I'd rather inform St Marys or Waltham Abbey but I figured I'd keep the appointment so that I've at least informed a parish priest.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow with the psychiatrist at the Derwent centre, Harlow at eleven thirty and short medical prior at eleven. Just in case I never tap it all up, I sort of informed the local mental health people but had to retract when I thought they might keep me institutionalized while the food was going on. I said at an initial appointment that I was being threatened with body possession, possibly to be used for a crime and that people were being tortured for food. I was sectioned, held at the psychiatric ward. I thought they might not let me go, so I completely retracted, appealed through a supplied solicitor and was set free. I didn't want to retract but I had to get away from the food.
A friend told me not to mention the food to the doctor. Who knows what kind of crazy shit they might do to me because of it. It's the danger of informing anyone. Who knows what the consequences might be.
I'll keep the doctors appointment and the appointment at the church tomorrow. Friday I can inform the rector at Waltham Abbey. I'd really like to attend the Sunday mass at Great Parndon so that my closest parish preist is sort of aware. I have no cash til Monday anyway. I might stumble into city on Monday to try to inform someone else.
The back pain's ominous and my mind is feels pretty screwed. God knows what'll happen.
Other entry tomorrow.
Thursday 19th September;
I had a doctors appointment with the Harlow psychiatrist. As advised, I didn't really tell the guy anything. He was friendly and polite.
Afterwards, I met a priest named 'Slavik' at the Lady Fatima Presbyterry. I basically said I was receiving telepathies and that some kind of organisation was going to break my back via body posession and that people were being tortured for me to eat food at my mothers & late fathers house. The guy, a big guy, from somewhere European had kind tears in his eyes. He said, 'what am I supposed to do with that?' He asked if these people were here about some kind of event in my history. Who knows I'm not exactly a saint. While he said there was nothing he could do... ( I told him about the other appointments) he said to let him know how the other appointments went and suggested that he knew the phone numbers of a couple of priests in London who may be able to perform some kind of exorcism. I thanked him kindly and left. The church is in Harlow, I don't know how such things work. I could say at least I'd told someone but it didn't really feel that way. Decided to maybe return after the other appointments but I don't see what it can do. I don't know how the underneath works, it's not impossible that it'll help in someway but also, nit impossible that it'll hurt in some way. Alas, at least I told someone.
Friday 20th September;
Kept an appointment to meet the head rector at Waltham Abbey church. It's a big imposing building, maybe that's how the church works. Basically told the guy the same spiel. He said to persevere with the mental health. I'm on quitiapine. I think all pharmaceuticals are placebo at his point. Either way I don't believe that the medication will stop the voices or people watching from eventually possessing my body and imprisoning me for torture. I have to be honest, this priest looked as though he sort of hated me. But hey, it's a big parish church that I used to live near, at least I met and tried to inform someone. He said he'd email the my local parish. I thanked him kindly, he was a nice polite fellow and departed. Still didn't really feel like I'd told anyone. It's a heavy weight, I should have somehow made a noise about this stuff.
I kept another appointment at a church in Hertford at 2.30pm. I tried to contact a church at Stansted Abbots, a small village near Hertford I found a few years ago, but the parish priest was away. I was contacted by someone in Hertford, covering the leave. Drove over to Hertford. The guy sat me down and I told him in reasonably thorough detail. He said that he couldn't help, and said he'd email my local parish.
So I sort of wanted to attend the service at St Marys on Sunday, it's only a stones throw away from my house. Literally a seven minute walk.
Sunday...
Missed the service. Gave up on telling anyone. Still living in a house with people being tortured for food. It's not funny, I can guess what they're going to do back.
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